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Nora and Delia Ephron — Love, Loss and What I Wore

posted by Women & Hollywood
Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 5:18pm EDT

Nora and Delia Ephron

This week I spent some time in the world of the sisters Ephron — Nora and Delia. First, I saw their show – Love, Loss and What I Wore (which is breaking box office records at the West Side Theatre and it has been extended into 2010), and then I saw them at the More Magazine Reinvention Convention.

The sisters could be a stand-up comedy act. Nora reminds me of a female Woody Allen (from the period when he was actually making funny, interesting cultural commentaries.) They like to talk about purses and how they are a reflection of the carrier and the color black which Nora is particular is quite fond of. As she said: I am not a fashion person and I have been saved from a lifetime of clothing mistakes by black.”

They also talked about how good Nora’s lunches are (she is criminally skinny) and how clothes can help you reinvent yourself.

The show which was packed to the gills with menopausal and post-menopausal women (I wondered why the theatre was so cold) stars a group of rotating actresses (I saw Tyne Daly, Rosie O’Donnell, Samantha Bee, Katie Finneran and Natasha Lyonne) reading monologues about how clothes define different periods in your life.

Everyone is calling it the Vagina Monologues without the vaginas. I think that is missing the point. It’s all about vaginas — it’s just that they are not being raped and mutilated.

I laughed at a lot of the monologues which the sisters Ephron wrote based on the book by Ilene Beckerman and enjoyed myself but afterwards what has lingered with me is the point – why do women care so much about clothes? Why are clothes and shoes and bags things that define so much of our female experiences? We all buy into it. Me included. I can’t tell you how many horrible clothing disasters I have had. Guys don’t think about clothes like we do, yet we are culturally conditioned to constantly think about how we look which, you know, takes up so much energy that we could be expending on many other things.

One of the quotes that has stuck with me comes directly from Delia Ephron is “I could wear heels or think, I choose think.” I feel the same way. One of the other things I felt was missing from the show which is probably because of the age of the women (I also need to add the the play is directed by a woman Karen Carpenter, and produced by a woman, Daryl Roth) was anything about how certain clothes like sports uniforms can be empowering. Since the show is all about sharing clothes stories, here’s mine:

I grew up on Long Island is a crazy soccer town where girls just like boys played on teams in the 70s and 80s before it had infiltrated the nation like it has now. We played all the time. There were intramural teams that accepted everyone, and travel teams that you had to try out for. The intramural uniforms were double sides — one side maroon and one side gold — and they were hideous and heavy. I even hated the shorts and the socks. I wanted to make the travel team not only because it meant I was better player than others, but most especially because the uniform. The uniform became a symbol of excellence and empowerment. I loved the socks, the shorts and the hideous polyester shirt that was both gold and maroon with the MSC (Massapequa Soccer Club) in the corner. It took me years to make that travel team, but when I did, and put on that uniform that I coveted, I felt so good and strong that I knew I could kick anyone’s ass on the field.

I haven’t thought about that uniform for a long, long time. So I want to thank the Ephron sisters for bringing that memory back.

Do you have an empowering story about some piece of clothing?