In this research-packed, story-rich, sociological-self-help hybrid, journalist Hannah Seligson coins a long overdue term for something so many of us have experienced: "a little bit married." You know...you move in, meet parents and siblings, invest in televisions and couches together, stay paired off for years and years. It's all the stuff that used to automatically lead to marriage (at least for couples who had/have that luxury), Seligson argues, but in this day and age, it often leads to, well, inertia. She writes, "Inertia isn't just some theoretical concept that academics coined--it's a living, breathing, often corrosive and very common dynamic among people who date for long periods of time." (And as someone who doesn't even know how I feel about marriage writ large, I can attest that this sense of inertia can still be a major issue...you're just stuck heading to a more amorphous destination.)

In A Little Bit Married: How to Know When It's Time to Walk Down the Aisle or Out the Door, Seligson explores this new ritual, which she admits is fairly limited to "mostly upwardly mobile, college-educated twenty and thirty somethings living in urban areas." There are some serious downsides, of course: confusion, heartbreak, lost money, time, energy. But being "a little bit married," however, isn't all bad--even when it doesn't work out. Seligson assures her readers: "Yes, many do not pain out to proffer life-long compatibility or children, but they do, on the other hand, tender a great learning experience, valuable ego-building, a stay against loneliness, and some lessons about how to act or not act in a relationship."

In a world where just loving someone well is one of the most difficult feats at all, that's sayin' something.

Note: I'm not posting the cover here because it seemed to promote the notion that all couples that are "a little bit married" are composed of a woman who's pining for a proposal and a man who's busy being a dude with a life. Not my favorite stereotype, and one Seligson refutes in the book.

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