From the Editor’s Desk: How to beat confidence busters
There are some days when opportunity is constantly knocking, our hearts are filled with so much hope we can barely stand it, and life seems to be falling into place exactly as we wished it would. And then some days, we break our heel, the coffee shop is out of our favorite low-fat, sugar-free syrup, the gym is jam-packed, a new zit appeared on our chin and we’re late for the job we don’t even like going to…again. While these little bumps in our daily lives can seem to add up when they all seem to pour down at once -there are other obstacles that can happen that really can stop a chick dead in her tracks and make her start questioning. Some disappointments, misfortunes or unexpected delays or events can cause a serious drop in confidence -in a woman’s opinion of herself, of her future and of her life. If any of these incidents dare to weaken the extra bounce in your step, check out our tips to get you hot on your heels, and ready to tackle the road ahead: Losing Your Job…or Not Being Able to Find One Period Without a doubt, this economy is the worst time to be an entry-level, recent college graduate who is dying to break her way into the working world. Regardless of your field, jobs are limited and competition is high. However, regardless if it’s perfecting your resume, crafting the best written cover letter or impressing them with the best interview -you must apply and speak with complete confidence. An employer can tell if you’re shaky and especially if you’re insincere. You may have the highest GPA, may have attended the most prestigious school, held the most internship positions and had more involvement than the other applicants, but if you’re not sure in yourself, you won’t knock them off the feet and land the corner office. More than looks and more than the best purse or fanciest briefcase bag, confidence sells. What Busts Your Confidence: The rejection letter, the inevitable (and never ending) silence in the form of empty voicemail, empty inbox and empty wallet or the ugly pink slip from your boss with a job you absolutely loved. What Boosts Your Confidence: Believing in the divine magic of the universe, applying to jobs you may not think you’re qualified for, but it’s worth the shot, revamping your resume, making a big move to a city you love, and knowing it will all work out just as it should. Breaking Up With Mr. I Thought He Was the One We’ve all found him. He’s the guy who comes out of nowhere, sweeps us off of her Jimmy Choo’s and we are completely smitten from date three. We throw ourselves and caution to the wind, we carelessly talk about the future as if it will just naturally happen, and we become convinced the diamond will land on our delicate little finger within a year -two max. And then something happens. Maybe it was him, maybe it was you (though, I doubt it), maybe it was the mixture of the two of you together -but for some reason, in some way, everything that felt so perfectly matched and aligned, fell apart. Suddenly, the guy that seemed like the end-all-be-all is another chapter, another learning experience and another stage of your life that has a final act without the hope of a bravo performance. He moves from lover and best friend to an acquaintance you think of randomly when certain smells, songs or memories cross your path and his presence in your life becomes an afterthought instead of the formulation of forward thinking. And worst of all, your heart just hurts. But, even though you know you’re in for the long haul on the road to healing -have faith there is a light at the end of the tunnel. What Busts Your Confidence: Songs that remind you of your relationship, fighting the urge to text/call him just as you used to, having to avoid places that remind you of your favorite memories of him, having to consciously remind yourself to not check his Facebook (or having to delete him all together) and having to let go of the wedding invitations you designed online and bookmarked for safe keeping. Oh, not to mention the five pounds you gained due to Ben & Jerry late night runs. What Boosts Your Confidence: Remembering that relationships end for a reason, even if you can’t figure out why now, and remembering there is an endless amount of love in the world if you just keep your eyes open and look around, having no one to answer to on a daily basis, hitting the towns with your girlfriends and dancing and flirting with whomever you please, buying new shoes to find the beat of your new single drum, and of course, the chance of not only new love but the love. A Bank Account Worth Next-to-Nothing If us chicks had it our way -we would travel from Paris to London to Los Angeles, Chicago and New York throughout the year. We would not try to mimic the looks on the runway, but buy the clothes themselves, and never wear the same outfit twice. We would work for our money, but if we lost our job or couldn’t find one, it would be no biggie, because the soft, comfy and cushioned lump sum of cash would be there to break out fall. Wishful thinking can get you far, but not in financial assets. Part of the journey of becoming an adult is learning how to manage your life in every shape, fashion and form, and unfortunately, that includes declaring financial independence. It can seem impossible to save up money for the next big step in your life when you’re juggling classes, applying or thinking about your future career, and attempting to have a social life thrown into the mix. And when the water runs dry, chicks can find themselves lost, broke and unsure where to go next. To help build back your money mojo and get away from low income woes, chicks should figure out a budget, set a goal for savings and the amount of time it should take to reach that goal, and start working in the direction of their ideal career through internships, conferences or seminars. If you’re already graduated and looking for a job, make sure to have a side part-time job to help bring in the cash flow while you patiently wait for your big break. What Busts Your Confidence: Having to decline another invite to get drinks or coffee or to go shopping at your favorite designer’s sample sale, not being able to jump on the next flight when opportunity calls but your wallet isn’t answering, not being able to give the homeless man on the corner a dollar because you don’t even have a dime to your name and of course, not knowing what the next step is when you have no financial stability. What Boosts Your Confidence: Holding some sort of a job that brings in any amount of cash, setting and sticking to a savings plan, no matter how insignificant it may seem, shopping wisely and checking your receipt to see when being a smart buyer paid off, finally seeing triple zeros in your savings account after months of work, not having to stalk your friends’ Facebook to look at all the fun you’re missing out on and being able to join in! Not Being Able to Zip Up the Jeans that Always Fit You can blame it on the holidays up until Valentine’s Day has passed, and that’s even pushing it. You can blame it on being bored because there are mountains of snowed piled up outside of your door, but Spring is quickly approaching. You can blame it on feeling uncomfortable at the overcrowded gym due to everyone trying to meet their New Year’s resolution, but March starts on Monday. At some point, you have to look into the mirror and blame yourself. Most chicks’ weight fluctuates by five to seven pounds from week to week, but if you’re having a hard time getting off over ten extra pounds, it may be time to start a different routine. It can really kill your mood if you wake up feel beautiful and try to slide on your favorite pair of jeans and no matter how much you try, you just can’t zip them. And if you manage to get the zipper up, there is no way you will be comfortable all day in them, so you’re forced to put on yet another pair of leggings. To get yourself feeling better, make a tangible and realistic goal about losing weight and getting back into shape. Cut out small food items you usually eat and start exercising at least thirty minutes five times a day. Little changes may seem insignificant, but they will all add up over time. What Busts Your Confidence: Dreading even the thought of bikini season, not having a single top or bottom that doesn’t make you feel bloated, feeling guilty about agreeing to second servings of chocolate cake, having your grandmother comment on how much you’ve filled out recently, and of course, packing up the skinny jeans. What Boosts Your Confidence: Running on a treadmill next to another chick and beating her running time, catching a handsome stranger taking a second glance at you, buying a size smaller than you usually do, seeing your weight drop on the scale, actually enjoying healthy food, and feeling super motivated and sexy, finally. Lindsay Tigar is the Editor-at-Large for ChickSpeak, and has dealt with all of these confidence busters recently. She truly believes that if any chick believes she can, they will be able to do whatever they put their mind to. The first step to success is having confidence in yourself -no matter if you’re goal is in love, looks, fame or money.
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