Breaking the Mold: Interracial & Intercultural Relationships
It is agreed that the feelings one has for her partner should be the most important element in a thriving relationship, regardless of race or religion. That being said, it’s hard to believe anyone would be anything but accepting of a loving, healthy relationship. However, despite the fact that we are part of an open-minded and accepting generation, some still struggle with engaging themselves in interracial, interreligious, interfaith or intercultural relationships. Unfortunately, one’s family or friends may not be as accepting or open-minded as she is. According to Love to Know, as recently as 1967, there were still state laws that banned interracial marriage. This wasn’t overturned until the Supreme Court case Lowell vs. Virginia, where the Supreme Court ruled that they were unconstitutional. America has since experienced a turnaround: no longer are interracial relationships seen as taboo. According to USA Today, “Today’s generation doesn’t blink at race.” In a 2006 article, they reported that college-age teens and twentysomethings are more likely to engage in interracial or interfaith relationships than any other age bracket because of the multitude of people they are exposed to. Additionally, the media constantly shows happy people with partners of other races, fueling the ideal of colorblindness when selecting mates. So, enjoy the fact that you are able to date openly in today’s society, and go get em’, tiger! But first, follow these tips. Talk to Your Family Before you introduce your boyfriend, explain to your family that he is of a different race or religion, and ask for their acceptance. While this seems like such a simple task, many girls overlook talking to their parents and relatives openly. However, the fact you choose to engage in open conversation shows that you respect them. Additionally, it takes away the “shock factor” parents may experience at a first meeting. Your parents love you, only care for your well-being and want you to be happy; if they are not deep-rooted in their beliefs of strict intrarace dating, this may be the only thing you need to do. Compromise The diverse blend of race and faith shows its beauty always, but it appears especially during holidays. Remember that your boyfriend and his family may be accustomed to other traditions. Neglecting to keep each other’s values in mind while planning celebrations may be a source of friction for some, so be sure to ask your boyfriend what he is used to. (Chrismukkah, anyone?) By showing him that you are interested, he will be more likely to return the favor and keep your interests in mind while planning family events. Read a Book There are a myriad of helpful and interesting books that can be very educational. For a reminder that love really is the most important ingredient in a relationship, read Put Passion First by Carol Cassell, Ph.D., a book that helps readers “focus on what’s really important: a passionate love that rocks [their] world like nothing else.” Also, check out the blog Let’s Talk About Race, written by Angelina Dion, a black woman married to a white man. Let’s Talk About Race openly discusses race in general and gives incredible firsthand insight to the topic. Her book by the same name is an extremely useful teaching tool which can be used to help help couples and families. On her website, she says, “The purpose of Let’s Talk about Race is simple: I want to create a safe place where we can more closely examine our thoughts, feelings, perceptions and prejudices.” Look for Help If all else fails, don’t shy away from seeking assistance from a professional. A family coaching group, such as Gold Parent Coaching, can help your family accept your boyfriend for what he is: an amazing man who loves you. Remember that as half of an interracial relationship, you are experiencing a wonderful cultural blend that others may never know. Ignore what others may say or do. Your love overpowers negativity, and that alone should be satisfying. Maxine Frendel is a writer from New Jersey. She encourages everyone to look for love in unexpected places and thinks that racial, religious or cultural barriers are neglible in the grand scheme of things.
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