Women's Media Nation | Social, political, and cultural issues relating to women

Hugs are better for you than kisses (We’re sad too!)

posted by ChickSpeak
Monday, June 7, 2010 at 1:20pm CDT

I’m sure you can recall how great hugs feel - warmth and security envelop you like no other. Simply put, they’re amazing when they’re the right kind. In relationships, though, it seems that kisses overpower the classic embrace. When your guy comes to pick you up for a date, he greets you with a kiss. When he walks in from work, you greet him with a kiss.

Without hugs, you’re missing something vital. With them, you and your relationship will be in great shape.

What you may not know about hugs is that they can reveal a ton about your relationship. You’ll be able to predict what your guy is feeling if you give hugs a chance. Cosmopolitan gives two examples.

The best hug of all is the bear hug. If your guy gives you one of these frequently, things are looking up. They suggest that he is confident with the relationship and sees it going somewhere. He also feels comfortable enough with you that he’s willing to tell you how he feels. Having this guy around will give you assurance that he’ll let you know when something is bothering him and that way, you won’t be forced to read his mind.

While this hug may be great, there’s another that’s the opposite - the half-hug. This simple, one-armed hug is a red flag. If it doesn’t occur often, it could just mean that he’s late or anxious about something so don’t sweat it too much. If he does it often, however, it shows he’s sheltered and apprehensive about your relationship. There is a positive, though. If you notice your guy is repeatedly giving you this hug, you’re given the opportunity to be proactive and ask him what’s bothering him. If you don’t ignore the sign, you’ll be able to fix things before they get worse.

Not only do hugs allow for you to see the status of your relationship, they also have proven health benefits. According to a USA Today article, the American Psychosomatic Society performed a study that reported a brief hug and 10 minutes of hand holding greatly decreased stress levels and the negative side effects that come along with it. Surprising? It shouldn’t be.

Think of how hugs make you feel when you’re stressed or upset. They’re reassuring and comforting. In stressful situations, blood pressure and heart rate increase without hugs - remind yourself of that the next time you’re going crazy over a deadline or assignment.

AOL Health also conducted an experiment in which they had a couple share a love seat, talk about a time when they felt particularly close, watch a romantic video for about five minutes, talk for a few more minutes, and then embrace one another for 20 seconds. The women then left their partners and went through a “post-contact stressor” where they had to discuss a recent, stressful situation. The results showed that prior to spending time with their guy, heart rate, blood pressure, and oxytocin levels were higher than post-experiment. It’s no wonder why they call hugs “the universal medicine.”

Aside from said benefits, hugs are a sign of affection - they show you care in a way that kisses can’t. So do your part and give your guy some extra hugs. They’ll bring you closer - both physically and emotionally - than you ever imagined.

Chelsea Tirrell is a freshman print journalism/creative writing major at Hofstra University. She loves giant bear hugs more than anything in the world. She believes they should be given more often in that they provide an undeniably amazing connection.