August 2, 2010 is the five year anniversary of my son’s car accident. He was driving his Toyota RAV4, lost control on a canyon road and went over the embankment tumbling down 350 feet to the bottom. He came to rest upside down, his 6 foot body cinched tight by the seat belt.
My son, 33 at the time, had been diagnosed with MS, and had been having some difficulty with the mobility of his hands and struggling with finding a good balance with the many medications he was taking. He should not have been driving that day.
The rescue workers said he was semi-conscious when they finally got to him, he had removed the seatbelt and fallen to the bottom of the roof. It required a helicopter; ropes and skilled rescuers to pull him safely out and rush him to the trauma center at Northridge Hospital near Los Angeles.
We were so fortunate someone saw him go over and called for help. I wish I could find and thank this momentary angel.
Miraculously, he had only one major devastating injury to his lower spinal cord, and only minor cuts and scraps everywhere, no stitches required! The doctors wanted to do surgery to repair his burst fracture on L1 and could not say what the outcome would be; his spinal cord was 75% involved and told us to prepare ourselves as he may be completely paralyzed. Only time would tell.
The surgery took place on the third day. An eight hour surgery to remove the broken pieces and repaired by placing a titanium cage and pins in place of the crushed disc.
After multiple rehabs due to several MS relapses, months in and out of the hospital and so much more that I cannot begin to list; my son is an incomplete paraplegic requiring use of a wheelchair for mobility about 95% of the time. He has learned to be as independent as his tenuous good heath will allow due to the ups and downs of his MS.
Wearing a seat belt saved his life, however, his entire life, our family and mine, was changed irrevocably in an instant. In fact everything has changed.
The pictures you see are the actual car my son was driving and what is looked like just after the accident. I have not looked at these pictures for almost two years. I could not go to the accident scene or retrieve his personal belongings. I could not bear it and needed to keep my emotional composure during the long days of learning how to care for my new son. Yes, my new son.
All of the hopes, dreams and aspirations of my son’s old life died that day, and a new son with new hopes, dreams and aspirations was born on August 2, 2005.
My new son shames me with his tremendous courage and spiritual strength when I feel sad or angry. My new son is gentler, kinder and more loving, spiritually connected to God and can laugh at himself more. My new son thinks of others always and even when he is in the hospital enduring yet another MS relapse. He is always reaching out to give hope to another patient less fortunate or who needs help learning the ropes in this new life. My new son has new interests, challenges and is adjusting to his new life one day at a time.
I don't miss the son that died much these days. My new son has brought so much more to my life. He has given me more passion to reach out and help others, to slow down once and awhile, talk more softly and notice the small but important gifts of each new day. He reminds me daily to educate people about safe driving, car seat safety and about those we carry in our vehicles - precious cargo - and to not forget that important fact. He reminds me not to use my cell phone, text message or otherwise be preoccupied when I am driving and to remind others as well. He helps me remember not to park in disabled parking zones, be conscious to others with disabilities.
As I write these words, my heart swells with pride and a smile curves across my face. He is truly a good person in the midst of his difficult and pain-filled circumstance. I would trade places with him in a nanosecond if I could. But the universe had other plans, and I am sure more will be revealed.
I want to give a heartfelt thanks to the MS Society, Wyngs.org, the staff at Northridge Hospital and the United Spinal Association for your continued support of my son’s second life.
Watch this video to learn more about my son’s story and about what he is doing to help others with MS and spinal cord injuries at Threus.org
Jody DeVere
CEO
AskPatty.com, Inc.
www.askpatty.com
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