Women's Media Nation | Social, political, and cultural issues relating to women

Lessons Chicks Should Unlearn

posted by ChickSpeak
Sunday, October 31, 2010 at 5:53pm CDT

Our whole lives center around one thing - lessons. In our childhood, we learn how to grow into mature and able adults. In school, we learn reading, writing, and arithmetic. In our social lives, we learn how to function with other people in a civil and productive manner.

Along the way, though, there are a lot of things we chicks learn that aren’t particularly building to our growth as women. In fact, they’re pretty detrimental.

Here are a few lessons we shouldn’t be afraid to un-learn:

It’s Not Okay to PMS

Really, chicks, we shouldn’t be upset on our periods? Come on. Whoever says that, normally someone with different equipment, obviously has no idea what it’s like to become a slave to your own body. All of those commercials aren’t exaggerating for sales’ sake; Mother Nature can be a pain. It takes a very strong, possibly imaginary, chick to smile and carry on pleasantly while her uterus threatens to fall out. Speaking of smiling, that reminds me of another lesson that needs to be unlearned…

We Have to be Happy All the Time

Life can be tough. As we all know, there will always be bumps and bruises along the way and, quite frankly, trying to put on a smiling face through hard times isn’t even healthy. The psychological theory of cognitive dissonance suggests that there is innate drive in us all to have our ideas, beliefs, and behaviors match. So, if something is upsetting, but we insist on forcing ourselves to not be upset, it can actually be pretty damaging to our psyche.

Need more proof? A 2008 study from the University of Michigan showed that couples expressing anger more often may actually keep relationships healthy.

It’s Wrong to be “Emotional”

It’s a rather old, and truthfully, annoying, stereotype, isn’t it? Women are perceived to be inherently, innately over-emotional (not just emotional, mind you) and guys tend to look into every little detail to make it seem just this way. God forbid a tear should drop during a hard or stressing time; then it’s just perceived as what makes women, well, women. Have you ever heard women getting flack for being too happy? No.

The point is that it’s wrong. Expressing emotions the way they come, whether you be overflowing with joy or crumbling into tears, isn’t feminine. It’s human.

It’s Best to Keep Some Things Secret

This is one life lesson that absolutely, absolutely needs to be unlearned. If the tragic case of University of Virginia student Yeardley Love teaches us anything, it should be that we need to speak up at the first signs of concern and fear.

Just because you convince yourself you can handle things on your own by no means actually means you can. We’re conditioned to think that some things can be simply brushed off as unserious or as non-issues that we’ve created on our own. Oftentimes, especially in dangerous situations, this couldn’t be further from the truth. In absolutely no situation is it acceptable to keep a potentially life-threatening situation secret.

While Faithlynn Morris prides herself on being academically, and therefore lesson, driven, she is also a firm believer in breaking at least some rules. As one of the most widely recognized chicks once said, “If I’d observed all of the rules, I’d never have got anywhere.” Gotta love that Marilyn Monroe.